{beauty}.full

The heavens declare the 

glory of God; 

the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they display knowledge. 

There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. 

Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. 

Psalm 19:1-4

[stomach].full

If you know me, you know I love my Chick-fil-a chicken sandwiches.

But I also love people, no matter how different their beliefs might be.

I don't think we should boycott a company based on what the CEO believes.

But I also I don't think we should boycott a group of people just because we disagree.

In the midst of it all and aside from all that, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if all the money we spent today at Chick-fil-a had gone to feed the hungry?

Or to fight human trafficking?

Or to provide for the homeless?

Or to work toward changing any number of the millions of other things in this world that break God's heart?

 What if tweets and posts and stories about redeeming those things were taking over our Facebook and Twitter feeds and making the evening news? 

What if we fought for the things that aren't as popular or convenient? 

What if we were as outraged (or at least as vocal) about every other act of injustice that happens everyday, when we so often choose to look the other way instead?

I don't know where I stand on the whole thing. I do know that I won't stop eating my favorite fast food. I also won't stop fighting for reconciliation in the face of protest.

Either way, I pray that I don't settle for a chicken sandwich to make me feel like I've done my part.

There is so much more redemption and reconciliation to be done.

{faith}.full

Tornadoes, [fear].full phone calls, miles of driving, prayers,

tears streaming down our faces,

sobs wreaking havoc on our bodies,

last smiles, 

last words,

last breaths.

 

This is what May 2nd looked like

for my family 4 years ago.

At the time they weren't my family yet, 

but the beautiful woman we lost that morning was confident that they one day would be.

I wish she were here to see that she was right.

I wish she were here so I could thank her for giving God's greatest gift to me,

for bringing him into the world,

for loving him,

for teaching him to love the Lord,

for encouraging him to love me,

and for raising him to be a man after God's heart. 

I wish she were here so I could thank her for loving me, and for believing in me when things like being a wife and mother never seriously crossed my mind. 

I am honored to wear the diamond from her wedding ring in my own. 

It is a constant reminder of what it means to be {faith}.full.

A reminder of a woman whose {faith}, in every circumstance, challenges my own.

A reminder of a husband who remained {faith}.full and prayed diligently, fought persistently, and loved deeply even unto his wife's last breath.

A reminder of a family who wrestled with God, trusted him, and remained {faith}.full in the midst of the storm.

A reminder of a {faith}.full God who is still good, who is still loving, and who is still true. Who died to give us hope and rose to give us life. Who redeems the world now and promises a new one that isn't marred by sin and death. 

It is so precious that the symbol of my marriage has been a symbol of faithfulness before. That the woman who wore that diamond and the man that held her hand are the example my husband saw as his parents 

honored their vows.

There is nothing more precious than knowing they raised him to be the kind of man that would do the exact same thing.

I am beyond thankful for this family that 

I'm blessed to be a part of.

And I'm so thankful for, and miss so deeply, the woman who welcomed me into it with open arms long be for the ring on my finger, or the promise it signifies, ever made that dream a reality.

[rest].less

Wanna know my realization of the day (drumroll please) .........?

I don't know how to rest.

My sweet husband said it best when he texted me today,

"You can't make things happen babe. Sometimes you have to be [still].ful."

Nevermind that he used the wrong kind of brackets ( {these pretty ones} are the ones reserved for {good} things). Or that there's only one "l" instead of two on the "full" part.

He was spot on with this one. 

I can't tell you how thankful I am for a man that knows my heart so well, even when he's calling me out. Because there's also no one who knows better how to calm it and lead it back to the Lord.

His words were very reminiscent of this verse,

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:14

Right now our life's a little chaotic. I'm trying to think of it as {adventure}.full. That's gonna be another post for another day. In just about 6 weeks, we're uprooting our life and moving to Colorado for grad school and some much needed growing up. And I'm so excited. The only problem is that we  have NO CLUE  how we're gonna make money or where we're gonna live.

No big deal.

If you trust God.

Which I'm realizing how little I do. I've been working tirelessly to figure out a plan for our move, finding jobs, applying for school and scholarships, figuring out classes, and researching housing options. I've barely given myself time to breathe.

And I'm SO tired.

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." 

Matthew 11:28

 I don't remember the last time I let myself be {still} and {rest}. But I'm thinking that only when I take the time to do that and put everything in God's hands will I have surrendered the space in my heart that he needs to take me from being [rest].less to {rest}.full.

{hope}.full

Today I'm celebrating a Savior that died to save us from death and rose to give us life. 

If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.
But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead...
1 Corinthians 15:19-20

He is risen. He is risen indeed.

(or as my husband likes to say, "He's alive for sure.")

So thankful that there's a reason to be full of {hope}.

Humbled by his sacrifice, and in awe of his power.

Only because Jesus conquered death can we ever have the chance to be

life.{full}.

Hallelujah.

Glory to God.

{sorrow}.full

Today, I was reminded that every moment counts...
         that we never know how long we have...
                 or how long we have with the ones we love.

I was reminded of what it feels like to grieve death...
          to cry...
                to miss...
                      to remember.

And the Lord reminded me that he is good...
            and that he is loving...
                  and that he brings peace...
                        and that there's no better place to be
                             than being with Him...
                                      and dancing with Him.

I am remembering a sweet life that I loved more than I even knew. I am remembering a precious, crazy, adventurous, fearless, loving, caring little guy

who was truly 

{life}.full.

{dot}.full

I bet you're wondering what in the world the title of this blog means.

...at least I'm kind of hoping you are.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure yet. I'm still trying to figure it out exactly what it means to be {full}. 

And apparently I thought a blog would be the best way to do that.

I keep finding myself wishing my life were more {hope}.full, {faith}.full, {thank}.full and {grace}.full. Seems like way more often my life looks a little too [fear].full, [doubt].full, and [sin].full.

Which really isn't {full} at all.

It's [empty]. And it's there that life starts becoming [thought].less, [meaning].less, and [purpose].less.

But Jesus said that we're supposed to be {life}.full.

Life isn't supposed to be [stress].full, [regret].full, [shame].full, [doubt].full, [fear].full, [sin].full.

So why am I, why are we, always ending up there?
And how do we live as {full}y as Jesus meant for us to?

Praying that the Lord will show me, and trusting that in the process I'll become a little more {Christ}.full. 

"I have come that they might have life, and have it to the {full}."

John 10:10